Writing this from Indianapolis; where Jane, Jacob and I overnighted enroute to the last two teen camps at which I'll be speaking this summer...Penn York in Ulysses, Pa (for Corning Area Bible Club); and Victory Valley in Zionsville, PA (for Pioneers for Christ; a Korean/American ministry; my 26th or 27th consecutive year)
After four weeks of camp speaking already (three teen and one family) it is still hard to fathom summer is ending...
And it is still hard to fathom...what am I doing here?
Why has God chosen me to do this type of ministry for 36 plus years? Why has He raised up a team of financial and prayer supporters who allow me to go anywhere at anytime to brag on Jesus? Whether it is a camp; a civic organization, a college, a prison, a jail, a one-on-one...whatever the venue, the underlying question: "What are you doing here, Jack?"
My only answer...He is fulfilling His purpose for me. I thank God obviously for salvation at the age of 26; the few years of growth while incarcerated; the Bible school I was privileged to attend, the mentors and others from whom I learned and am learning so much, and the rich history of the church and its leaders who have allowed me to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
I often tell younger men that I am still "scared" before I preach/teach/speak...if I wasn't it would mean I was relying on myself, my "education," my "experience," etc instead of relying on the Lord.
I continue to be amazed that I get to do what I get to do; and I've a hunch that is why I get to continue doing it.
My chief desire at this point is to finish well, to finish strong, and to be somehow a help to younger men and women in ministry.
The fields are indeed white unto harvest, and the laborers are not only few, but seem to be getting "fewer," especially those who are willing to trust God to provide for their needs through missionary support; who are willing to see ministry is NOT a 40 hour a week "job," and are willing to pour their lives into teens seeking impact, not "decisions."
So I continue to wonder, "What am I doing here?" while at the same time being incredibly grateful that I get to "brag on Jesus" as a calling.
I do not know anything of Kris's spiritual state...but this song frequently pops into my grey (gray?) matter, and the lyrics put well my question in a different form...