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Monday, July 4, 2011

So Stinking Funny!

I am stealing and reprinting this whole thing from HERE

I laughed over most of them, proverbially rolled on the floor over some, and just got a lot healthier (because a merry heart does good like a medicine):

Do you write many letters? Back in my lower-tech days, I wrote lots of letters ... long letters! It seems that the easier and cheaper communication became, the less I communicated with handwritten letters. I'm in touch with many of the same people I used to write to, but I'm also definitely in touch with many more than before. Most of my written communication now is by e-mail, texts, and instant messages. I rarely ever receive handwritten personal letters, maybe because I seldom send them myself.

In my files I found some very short letters, all of which actually say quite a bit. I've accumulated others along the way, and post them today for your enjoyment.

Dear Americans,
You'd have cool accents too if you hadn't thrown all that tea in the water.
Sincerely,
The British


Dear Internet,
Please stop with the talking ads that start on their own.
Sincerely,
Just had a heart attack


Dear Internet Explorer,
Thank you for being the #1 browser that people use to download a better browser.
Sincerely,
Safari, Firefox and Chrome


Dear Silence,
You may be golden, but I'm silver
Sincerely,
Duct Tape

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just sayin'....
Sincerely,
Google


Dear Facebook,
Congratulations on becoming a verb. Welcome to the club.
Sincerely,
Google


Dear Facebook,
Just wait, one day they'll abandon you as well.
Sincerely,
Myspace


Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely,
That Little Triangle


Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Tough luck.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

 Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because some Spaniards invaded our country and we got a little busy....
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear Math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I don't have time for yours AND mine.
Sincerely,
I don't care about the value of X

Dear Mathematicians,
Here's a hint: X will always equal 10.
Sincerely,
The Romans

Dear Rubik's Cube,
Done!
Sincerely,
Colorblind

Dear "ppl hoo tawk lyk dis,"
We are coming for you.
Sincerely,
The Grammar Nazis

Dear Toaster,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Sincerely,
Toast

Dear Americans,
Oh, you thought I meant change for the BETTER ... I can see how you'd think I meant that....
Sincerely,
President Obama

Dear Obama,
Harder than it looked, huh?
Sincerely,
George W

Dear Amish,
You shouldn't be reading this.
Sincerely,
Anonymous

Dear kids who tormented me in 7th grade because I was smarter than you,
I need you to work overtime tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Your Boss

Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
Your name is my name too!
Sincerely,
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

Dear people that text back "K,"
I am rarely in the mood to talk about Potassium.
Sincerely,
Facetious chemistry student

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain... No one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea ... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear The Movie,
Meh.
Sincerely,
The Book

Dear Prince Charming,
You've got some 'splaining to do!
Sincerely,
Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear National Association of Procrastinators,
That is quite the acronym.
Sincerely,
I think I'll join you

Dear person reading this,
You're here because you're actively procrastinating or avoiding real work, aren't you? It's OK...me too.
Sincerely,
Mañana

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