Honest Confession

The following was written and posted on Facebook by a sophomore in college I've known for years. A great young lady who genuinely shares, openly and honestly, what we all could echo at at least some portion of our lives...and which may, uncomfortably, hit home even now...Here is her post:

"I need to apologize to all four hundred and one of you. I have proclaimed myself to be a Christian, but I need to be honest. I have this fear that some of you may compare my actions and words to those of my savior, Jesus Christ. It is rare for my actions to reflect him, and I need to apologize to you for portraying falsities.

"Yes, I attend church. I am a leader in my youth group, and attend a Bible club on my campus. I went to a college with chapel requirements my freshman year of college. I worked at a Christian camp, and served on mission trips. I don’t swear, or look at porn. I have no experience with the taste of alcohol or euphoria that comes with smoking pot. I’m pro-life, and disagree with the theory of evolution. I also need to tell you that none of these things make me Christian.

"Some people see Christianity as being a bunch of boring rules you have to follow. I fear it is people like me who tell this lie to the masses. In high school, if you looked at my schedule you would think I was a boring Bible thumper who never participated in anything that involved the f word. Why would someone who spends three days a week participating in church functions have any idea what the f word actually is? I have had more fun participating in these actions because they all involve the f word: fun. You might understand where I'm coming from. You might not. I can’t tell you what to feel because I’m not you, but I wish you could. I never will be you. I’m not writing this to tell you what I have and haven’t done so you can see me as a great person. I’m telling you so you can see my faults. I am one of the worst sinners you will ever meet in your life.

"Here is the truth: Christianity is having a relationship with the creator of the universe. It’s having someone to run to when you’ve had the worst day of your life. It’s having someone to share joy with. It’s having someone tell you things are going to be okay, even when they feel like they won’t. It is the epitome of a best friend. You don’t have to worry about him telling your secrets or sleeping with your best friend. Would you like to know one of the best parts of this relationship? It’s a relationship based on love- the love a father willing to die for you kind of love. Keeping this relationship growing on a daily basis is what makes you a Christian. It's a far cry from a list of rules. It's not magic either. Trust me on this one-becoming a Christian doesn't make your troubles disappear. It does make them easier to conquer, however.

"Here is an ugly truth: I’ve been neglecting this relationship like you wouldn’t believe. It’s the neglect of this relationship that causes me to be a bad witness. I’m false representation, believe it or not. I’ve been living a life that isn’t even close to proper representation of Christ is, but I’ve still put on the Christian t-shirt. It is with this reason that I am apologizing to you. I’ve lied to all of you in the worst way possible, and the only thing I know to do is ask forgiveness, so that’s what I’m doing.

"I know I’ve written a few notes similar to this on here. They all sound similar to, “I’ve been bad, but I’m not going to act like that again. I’m a good Christian now.” Here’s the deal. I’m not going to be a Christian anymore. I’m going to be a growing Christian, and this time I’m going to be honest. Feel free to keep me in check if you wish."